Last night The man from the telephone called and invited me to go to dinner with him and some of his friends. So, despite feeling not so Gorgeous, I decided to go!
I had a great time. P turned out to be an average guy, not a super slim marathoner! I really felt comfortable with him, and his friends, a married couple were fun as well. We had a very good dinner at Penang. It was really good, and P knows quite a bit about Asian dishes, so I tried several things I had never had before, including Ice kaceng, a delicately flavored "Icee". Anyway. P's friends decided to go on home, they had all ridden or walked in the MS walk/cycle event and were tired. P and I decided to have a coffee, which was really very fun. We had a nice conversation which seemed to flow easily. I learned some about his interesting background and family. We discussed various marathons and places we like to run. It's been forever since I have been out on a date (was this a date???) and felt comfortable and enjoyed myself.
At about 11, we decided to call it a night, and here's where the "why me" happened! We were standing on the sidewalk when a college student lost control of his skateboard abruptly and fell. The skateboard plowed into my left akle with some force causing some bleeding and immediate bruising/swelling. The skateboard guy did apologize and ran off for ice….Then one of the guys wanted to placate me, so he said "I'm a med student" Which to someone with any medical knowledge means "I don't know anything, but I think I know something." Truely people, Medical students are learning, they aren't very knowledgeable. (to be honest, all his friends seemed surprised that he was a med student, so I think he was probably pre-med) So, standing there in shock, looking at my mangled hand and now ankle, I just lost my temper and snapped a bit. I felt a bit like the biblical Job ! I can not fathom why me! I was just standing on the sidewalk!!!!!! The "med student" started to tell me not to judge his buddy's moral character. At that point I realized they were drunk, and there's no reason to speak to a drunk person when you are sober, so I sucked it up, said it was fine. P actually leaned down and iced my ankle! He walked me back to my car. I apologied for losing my temper, he said well, you're hurt, bleeding. He said he thought I calmed down very quickly, which I had…but still.
The ankle hurt like crazy when I got home, so I ended up taking a painkiller I had left over from surgery…once the pain stopped, I felt around the foot ankle and nothing seemed broken. This morning its doing ok, a little swollen and very bruised, but fine. I on the other hand, am mortified!!!!!!!!!! Usually I am very easygoing about stuff that just happens. But given my present finger problems, this turned out to be
my straw to break my camelback. I was just so upset, I went home and sobbed for a while. I can not figure out what karmic debt I'm paying off, but it must be enormous.
What really hurts is not my ankle, but my pride and my heart. I like this gentleman. He's fun, he enjoys things I enjoy, he works hard and intensely at his job, and he plays hard too. We share similar taste in music, and I think a similar world view. I would like very much to see him again, but I don't know how he might feel…It was such an awkward ending to what was otherwise a really perfectly nice evening.
I do keep thinking, optimistically, that of things do work out between us, that will be an interesting first date (but was it a date of a friendly get together?? how does one know?) story, but now, I am feeling concern that I came off a bit bitchy, and well, I was….why couldn't I have smiled through it?????
It would have been better to have had less of a good time and therefore not care what P thought of me. 😦