Oh good gracious, why me?

Last night The man from the telephone called and invited me to go to dinner with him and some of his friends.  So, despite feeling not so Gorgeous, I decided to go!

I had a great time. P turned out to be an average guy, not a super slim marathoner! I really felt comfortable with him, and his friends, a married couple were fun as well.  We had a very good dinner at Penang.  It was really good, and P knows quite a bit about Asian dishes, so I tried several things I had never had before, including Ice kaceng, a delicately flavored "Icee".  Anyway.  P's friends decided to go on home, they had all ridden or walked in the MS walk/cycle event and were tired.  P and I decided to have a coffee, which was really very fun.  We had a nice conversation which seemed to flow easily.  I learned some about his interesting background and family.  We discussed various marathons and places we like to run.  It's been forever since I have been out on a date (was this a date???) and felt comfortable and enjoyed myself.

At about 11, we decided to call it a night, and here's where the "why me" happened!  We were standing on the sidewalk when a college student lost control of his skateboard abruptly and fell.  The skateboard plowed into my left akle with some force causing some bleeding and immediate bruising/swelling.  The skateboard guy did apologize and ran off for ice….Then one of the guys wanted to placate me, so he said "I'm a med student" Which to someone with any medical knowledge means "I don't know anything, but I think I know something."  Truely people, Medical students are learning, they aren't very knowledgeable.  (to be honest, all his friends seemed surprised that he was a med student, so I think he was probably pre-med)  So, standing there in shock, looking at my mangled hand and now ankle, I just lost my temper and snapped a bit. I felt a bit like the biblical Job !  I can not fathom why me! I was just standing on the sidewalk!!!!!! The "med student" started to tell me not to judge his buddy's moral character.  At that point I realized they were drunk, and there's no reason to speak to a drunk person when you are sober, so I sucked it up, said it was fine. P actually leaned down and iced my ankle!  He walked me back to my car. I apologied for losing my temper, he said well, you're hurt, bleeding.  He said he thought I calmed down very quickly, which I had…but still.

The ankle hurt like crazy when I got home, so I ended up taking a painkiller I had left over from surgery…once the pain stopped, I felt around the foot ankle and nothing seemed broken.  This morning its doing ok, a little swollen and very bruised, but fine.  I on the other hand, am mortified!!!!!!!!!!  Usually I am very easygoing about stuff that just happens.  But given my present finger problems, this turned out to be

 

my straw to break my camelback.  I was just so upset, I went home and sobbed for a while.  I can not figure out what karmic debt I'm paying off, but it must be enormous.

What really hurts is not my ankle, but my pride and my heart.  I like this gentleman.  He's fun, he enjoys things I enjoy, he works hard and intensely at his job, and he plays hard too.  We share similar taste in music, and I think a similar world view.  I would like very much to see him again, but I don't know how he might feel…It was such an awkward ending to what was otherwise a really perfectly nice evening. 

I do keep thinking, optimistically, that of things do work out between us, that will be an interesting first date (but was it a date of a friendly get together?? how does one know?) story, but now, I am feeling concern that I came off a bit bitchy, and well, I was….why couldn't I have smiled through it?????

It would have been better to have had less of a good time and therefore not care what P thought of me.  😦

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11 thoughts on “Oh good gracious, why me?

  1. Yikes.The important thing is that the date (if it was a date) part earlier on went well. I don't know how anyone could keep it together after being slammed into by a drunk skateboarder late at night. As the pain recedes, the story is what remains and it's an interesting first friendly get together or date or whatever it was. Now if it was you who were drunk and skateboarded into someone it wouldn't have reflected on you very well. Your gentleman's reaction is what is more significant, he understood why you reacted how you did (and his icing of your ankle is very nice too.)I hope that your heart isn't hurting as much now.

  2. Well, now for MY opinion… If he asked you to go with him with ANOTHER couple, it was a date. If he would have asked you to go out with his male buddies, it may have been something different. He probably wanted you to feel more comfortable if you had someone else there and HE might have felt more comfortable knowing this other couple so the conversation wouldn't lull. I believe he may have given them a signal to leave when they did, thus your spending alone time with him. Long story short, I really believe this was a date or get to know you better for future dating puposes event.
    I'm pretty positive he didn't think bad of you because of your little snapping episode. I know what you mean though about wondering why you couldn't just keep a smile on your face BUT given the fact that your ankle was obviously bleeding, bruised and swollen, he might have been shaken up a little too (for you). If he judges you for how little you DID snap at the idiot, then he truly has something wrong with him.
    I really hope this all turns out and I'm looking forward to keeping up with what's going on with you two! I wouldn't stress too much if he doesn't call right away because I'm learning (from my brother) that guys have this no call right away policy.. They think they look too anxious if they call right away. This KILLS my brother because he's not the type to follow the dating "rules" but he's learning that some women think a guy is weak if they call right away. Who knew? Things are sure different from when I was dating (and that was only 6 years ago!).

  3. I apologied for losing my temper, he said well, you're hurt, bleeding.I think this says it all. He got it. Drop him an email saying you had a wonderful time (despite getting hit by a drunk skateborder) and would love to get together again. Worst that could happen is you won't hear back, but I'd put money on him wanting to go out again. If I had been in his situation, I would have been far more concerned about your swelling, bleeding ankle than how you talked to a bunch of drunks who just ran you over.As for whether it was a date or note, that's really an unimportant question. It's a kind of arbitrary label. If it was a date and you end up just becoming friends, the date label means nothing. If it wasn't a date and you fall for each other, well, then it may as well have been a date. Chances are, he's no more clear than you are about whether or not it was a date. About four years ago, I answered a personal ad from a woman who is now one of my dearest friends. I'd say the first two times we went out were "dates" because it was a response to a personal ad and we did kiss a little. After the first time we went out, we exchanged a couple of emails and she said she wasn't sure if I was looking at us romantically or just a friends. I emailed her back saying I really hadn't figured that out yet and asked her if she had figured out how she felt. (She hadn't either.) Over time, it clearly fell into the friendship camp and were still very close to this day.So, stop worrying and enjoy going out with this guy. And if it doesn't move on to something serious, remember there are still a lot of single guys out there. There's no need to make big decisions on the first date.

  4. yes, I do think though, it might be normal to call and see how my ankle held up. It really was painful, but today its fine. Still…I'm going to chalk it up to my enormous karmic debt. When oh when will it be paid off? It was too random and strange!

  5. This KILLS my brother because he's not the type to follow the dating "rules" but he's learning that some women think a guy is weak if they call right away. Who knew? I'm not one to follow the dating rules either, but I'm always real careful about this one. I've found that if I call too soon, the woman I'm dating often sees it as a sign of being too serious to fast. I'm pretty direct, though it took me 15 years of dating to get there, and get really tired of dropping hints.

  6. All these rules! I wish people could just be "real" about the way they feel. I guess you WOULD get tired of dropping hints after 15 years of dating! lol I hated dating and have to hand it to you for your stamina! πŸ™‚

  7. You're RIGHT! He'd have the perfect excuse to call! I wasn't thinking about that… He should actually CARE about your ankle and NOT just use it for an excuse to call. So has he called??????

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