So, I've had a bad bad week. I've made a decision to try to leave my job for a new one, and the opportunity is to try to find one I want, not just another job to get away from the current one. So that has been uncomfortable, things at work are difficult and I always feel as if I am skulking around now. I have to go back for a day tomorro, and I am not looking forward to it at all. In fact, it's more like dread.
Had a nice day with P yesterday, but a terrible one today, in fact we broke up. We went running again today but P likes to run at noon, which here in NC means that it's usually 90 degrees. we took the dog, who also had a hard time keeping up. When we got back I hopped right into the shower all the while thinking not very complimentary thoughts about him. I cooled off a little, but to be honest, I was still very annoyed at him. Last week, he took me on an impossible hill run, this week, the weather….
then all of a sudden I saw this look cross his face, you know, that look….and I knew it was well over. He did a lot of song and dance about how sorry he was for this and that, but you know all I could think of was how i wasted my entire weekend. P. feels that there should be some sort of 'chemical reaction' or "spark" and he never really felt it, but he kept taking me out, etc etc etc anyway, essentially because he felt like it and it didn't seem to bother him that he was actually sort of leading me on. He then said "I still want to help you reach your goals…." at which point I just looked at him and explained that I don't need any help. I do need help, but not really from him. He really needs people to motivate him, and he likes to work out with others, I on the other hand, like to pretty much do it myself, and talk about it later with others. Anyway.
There are some good things. I do not have to go to the Swing Dance that I didn't want to go to tonight, I can now choose some different races to run in the upcoming months, I was never too hip about the rock and roll half as if was. I can say I'm hoping I can still run the Tower of Terror 13K with Julio in October. I wanted to do that so much and P kept saying no….so now, I can do what I please.
In a way I'm glad this is over. P was a nice person and I really enjoyed spending time with him, but he had some OCD problems and sort of tried my patience some of the time. Not so sure what to do about the Race for the Cure though. I am on his company team. I want to run just because it would be good, and I've raised 295.00 so far and will probably raise some more. But I don't want to deal with his patronizing way of trying to be nice to me after he was a total jerk. I'm not really a "lets be friends" type. I don't know why. But I do know one thing….He's given me a nice nice motivation to get faster and kick his behind because there will be several races that we both enter knowingly or not 😉
So on top of this and the job, my trainer/coach is going off to Grad School next week. He and I have been pretty good friends, and I did so enjoy having such a massive high schoolish like crush on him…and I am not so sure I can handle a new trainer. It will most likely be the tall dude named I think Jeremy or something like that. He's an excellent trainer.
I have to say, I do wish intensely that just one thing would go right. It would help me right now.