food, weight, eating…etc

Not (Yet) A Runner's post recently about people making jokes about how to avoid calories in food (Eating off of others plates, standing up etc etc), had me thinking today about food in general.

 

I have a complete body dysmorphic disorder.  While I don't see a therapist or anthing, I meet all the criteria.  I am a very normal sized woman, maybe even a bit on the smaller side, but yet, I see myself as enormous beyond belief.  I often have to return clothing because I buy it a few sizes too big.  I have accepted this year that I do indeed fit an XS shirt, and that this is a fine thing, I should not ask for a large for the running races because I can't wear it in public, except as a dress.

I'm sure this has something to do with Childhood and also alot to do with the fact that for a few years there, I was on the chubby side of things.  But whatever the reason, I have it.  So…I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about food, my appearance and the relationship between the two.

   This year is the first year I've really been able to eat enough food, and eat healthy foods…mostly thanks to my trainer (Last day with him today, but more on him later).  I feel strong. I feel good.  I look good.  It's great.

I never understand how people will try to desperately either undermine me, or seek to control me in relation to food.

One set of people are always goading me to eat cookies, cupcakes, french fries.  They are the set that are always "On a diet" but "Just can not resist that piece of chocolate, it was calling me"!  It's true, occasionally, chocolate can have a powerful hypnotic effect on people, but not every day.  When I hear them say this I steadfastly think this:  "I just couldn't help myself….I couldn't eat that cupcake because having a nice strong body feels so good"  Most of the time it works out well.  The trick is to never ever say this in public, as it is highly offensive to the goading crowd!!!

The second set of people are what I consider the "diet police" They are generally new to being on a diet themselves and want proof that it works (voila, moi…proof that it works.).  They panic for me when they see me decide to eat a piece of birthday cake, or a cookie.  They act aghast and tell me seriously, "OMG you are going to gain all your weight back.."  It makes it difficult to actually enjoy the indulgence, so I usually just sort of sulk off to a corner, or desperately try ot explain that one slice of cake can not undermine an entire diet. 

This summer I want to lose about 15 pounds, not so much for appearances, but actually so I can get faster.  I imagine havybeaks might be able to do some sort of calculation of for each pound lsot, how much faster Katie could run….

I can't do the calculation, but I know that dumping this weight will indeed improve my times, even if I do no better training than what I am doing now…

So we'll see.  I'm moving in a few weeks.  I wonder if I will be working with enablers, or restrictors?

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7 thoughts on “food, weight, eating…etc

  1. Andrew will likely comment. He actually was telling me a few days ago about how much faster a person can run when weight is lost!! I've lost a few pounds lately and I think he said I should be 12 seconds faster now. ;)I really have to make sure I stay on top of portion control. It's my real weakness in exercise and diet. It's for me what makes the difference. I've never really followed a strict diet but more a moderation type of thinking (ie some cake or sweets is fine from time to time but not on a regular basis). Water intake and portion control are what I'm currently working on. I have friends that are "dieting all of the time". They eat well for a month or so and lose some weight but then slip up and eat poorly and gain weight until they feel too fat again and start the process all over again. It's definitely work eating right and exercising but I wonder what it would take to get my friends to continue with a healthy lifestyle "for good".

  2. *sighs* My husband is the kind of guy who can't resist an entire bowl of ice cream, and he always makes up a bowl for me because eating alone is apparently depressing.Drives me crazy!I hope you are around people who just leave your eating habits to you and don't try to push their own agenda on your plate!

  3. 'Dieting' has not been in my personal vocab for years. Diet is a bad 4-letter word for me! What I have done successfully is watch portions and bad kinds of fat. I really don't like the feeling of over-eating so I don't. I'm able to leave food on my plate and am okay with it. When I'm running and working out I WANT to eat better. My body craves good, nutrious food and I will, without trying, drop about 10 lbs. And I think it'll naturally happen to you as you increase your mileage. As I lost weight and was running 24-30 miles wkly I found my tempo runs were swifter and I was often breaking my P.R's for split times during training and racing.
    One thing I will do differently if I can get motivated to train again is also do upper body strength training. I want a balance of upper body defined muscle tone. I'd sacrifice some speed for it now (didn't want to then). Just depends on what we each want.

  4. You know even I get comments like that sometimes. I've always been more on the scrawny side (as Amanda likes to call me). When someone at work brings in donuts everyone complains how they shouldn't eat them, then they tell me "hey Andrew finish these off, you don't have to worry about weight." I feel like telling them it IS because I'm concerned with my health that I don't like them and CAN eat donuts if I feel like it.Anyway, what Amanda was referring to was an article in the latest Runner's World about finding one's "ideal weight" or whatever. The neat thing was a table showing how much time one could save in a 5K/10K/13.1M/26.2M race by dropping X number of pounds. It's not as much as you'd think; here's the chart:lbs — 5K — 10K — 13.1M — 26.2M2 — :12 — :25 — :52 — 1:455 — :31 — 1:02 — 2:11 — 4:2210 — 1:02 — 2:04 — 4:22 — 8:4420 — 2:04 — 4:08 — 8:44 — 17:28Apparently they think it's a linear relationship. So if you end up losing your 15 lbs, you can save 93 seconds on your 5K. The article also mentions to keep your BMI in a healthy range; below 18.5 is too low but above 25.0 you're in a riskier health category.

  5. Oh I use the word diet in a different way than most people. My Diet is what I eat plain and simple. Its not some special foods for a time period. It's just what I eat. I will never in my life drop these particular fifteen without trying, usually when I train hard, I either stay the same weight, lose 3 pounds, or gain about 6 because I have to really eat to maintain the activity level…but somehow this year, I'm going to tweak the diet and I hope manage it.

  6. Thanks Havy, I somehow missed this in the latest RW…wowee. How could I have missed it?
    I would love to lose 90 seconds off a 5K. Of course my goal is to train smart and lose maybe 3 minutes off of it, but we'll see. Had a particularly bad birthday run yesterday.

  7. Thanks for that post, katiebell. It's great that you're focusing more on the positives of losing weight instead of obsessing about it. I've lost weight through Weight Watchers, and now running, and it's taken me some time to get used to buying clothes in smaller sizes too. I hope your new colleagues are supportive. Stay healthy and keep running!

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