Well, so I have updated, and many of you may note that suddenly, I am calling you a "friend". It is not I didn't feel friendly towards you eailier, its just that I had little need to filter the blog through all the different channels that vox offers.
But I need to post a bit of a rant, and it does involve another voxer, who I am rather annoyed with, and I'd rather he not read this. So, if you aren't in the mood for a rant about a man, you need to skip this. It's a bit dull,emotionally charged, and booring, but I needed somewhere to write it. There aren't any fun photos or quotes or links in this entry, its mostly just me being unhappy.
In June, when I first started to get ready to travel, a certain voxer contacted me. We seemed to get along, we talked on the phone and since I am doing contract work made some plans for me to come and do a contract near Orlando where he lives. I figured this was a pretty sweet situation. I can be there 3 months. If things do not work out, I can leave. But,all of a sudden, rather out of the blue, he stops calling me. Will not answer my calls or emails or anything. So After being somewhat upset, I send off one last email just really expressing that I was really hurt by his actions, and I went off to my travel contract in NH. I had a good time in NH, and as tincture of time works pretty darn well for anything, I eventually got over it and pretty much forgot about how miserable this made me. I know it seems silly to be miserable over an "internet person" but I really was.
Wierdly, one day in February, rather out of the blue, I get an Instant message from him. Like an idiot, I actually reply to it. Since then we have been talking every day. I decided to go ahead and go to Florida, as I need to go somewhere, and I am very cold here in NM, and its pretty nice and hot in Florida. At this point, since I am 6 weeks out of a contract, this requires me to enter into the throes of getting the Florida License, and contracting to find who is staffing FL. While I don't mind at all, this IS taking a lot of time, effort and a bit of cash.
Soooooo. Yesterday, I go in to work an I call him when I say I was going to, since my cell reception is shotty at the house. No answer. Never answers. Of course, given what happened before, I am in full on Panic mode. But I figure I am over-reacting. And so despite feeling extraordinarily not so happy, I just kind of go through work. I imagine I'll hear from him today after work.
And I did hear from him briefly. He happened to be on IM,and we had a short conversation in which he said he didn't know why I was so sensitive,and took things personally. Well people, DUH….because someone just out of the blue stopped calling me for six months in the recent past and then started again…. So, being me, I explain that I was just a little upset because I had really wanted to talk to him last night and we had made plans to do so and then he was not there. I get no real explanation as to why he didn't call back, or anything, and he sort of made some statements about "If you come to Florida…this and that" Newsflash….I am on my way, at this point considerable effort has beenput into securing me something in Florida, and it is about 80 degrees there. I crave 80.
I ask if he wants to talk tonight, and he signs off IM.
It is amazing to me this entire situation because now I am feeling the same amount of misery I felt the first time, but double because I have already been through the very same thing once before. I would think that considering what he did before, he would understand that I might be a little sensitive to the particular not communicating issue.
but no instead, I seem to be the stupid one. twice. Men are strange, but not this strange.
Now I am at a confusion point. I do not know what to do.
There is a position in Orlando. It pays extra well, and is Day shift, but the hospital is crazy busy, and I am not so sure I can handle the crazy busy anymore. If things were to pan out this would be a good position as it is close to said man, and also to the National Training Center. it will also look nice on the resume, if I can succeed.
However, there are also some smaller hosptials with good contracts,still fairly close and I'd have what I would consider a gaurenteed chance of job success. Maybe Not close enough to train at the training center…but, there are other gyms,and I am not really in super shape at the moment.
So where to go. Gaurenteed job success? Or a challenging assignment, with a few red flags.
And I am angry. Why do this to a person twice. While I may be taking things personally, given the history, I think I have a right to do so.
I guess I should go with Florida Hospital East….Known by many travelers in Florida as "the beast". Gaurenteed resume builder, I will be very busy adapting, and I would have the chance to have a National Training Center Trainer. and possibly the odd man here might be fun to hang out with…possibly.
Arrrugh. I feel so stupid. I keep thinking I should give this a chance, but then I wonder why I should because it's pretty painful….again and again and again
I feel like Charlie Brown.