Blech. Or How can I be stupid Twice.

Well, so I have updated, and many of you may note that suddenly, I am calling you a "friend".  It is not I didn't feel friendly towards you eailier, its just that I had little need to filter the blog through all the different channels that vox offers.

But I need to post a bit of a rant, and it does involve another voxer, who I am rather annoyed with, and I'd rather he not read this. So, if you aren't in the mood for a rant about a man, you need to skip this.  It's a bit dull,emotionally charged, and booring, but I needed somewhere to write it. There aren't any fun photos or quotes or links in this entry, its mostly just me being unhappy.

In June, when I first started to get ready to travel, a certain voxer contacted me.  We seemed to get along, we talked on the phone and since I am doing contract work made some plans for me to come and do a contract near Orlando where he lives.  I figured this was a pretty sweet situation.  I can be there 3 months.  If things do not work out, I can leave.  But,all of a sudden, rather out of the blue, he stops calling me. Will not answer my calls or emails or anything.  So After being somewhat upset, I send off one last email just really expressing that I was really hurt by his actions, and I went off to my travel contract in NH.  I had a good time in NH, and as tincture of time works pretty darn well for anything, I eventually got over it and pretty much forgot about how miserable this made me.  I know it seems silly to be miserable over an "internet person"  but I really was.  

Wierdly, one day in February, rather out of the blue, I get an Instant message from him.  Like an idiot, I actually reply to it.  Since then we have been talking every day.  I decided to go ahead and go to Florida, as I need to go somewhere, and  I am very cold here in NM, and its pretty nice and hot in Florida.  At this point, since I am 6 weeks out of a contract, this requires me to enter into the throes of getting the Florida License, and contracting to find who is staffing FL.  While I don't mind at all, this IS taking a lot of time, effort and a bit of cash.

Soooooo.  Yesterday, I go in to work an  I call him when I say I was going to, since my cell reception is shotty at the house.  No answer. Never answers. Of course, given what happened before, I am in full on Panic mode.  But I figure I am over-reacting.  And so despite feeling  extraordinarily not so happy, I just kind of go through work.  I imagine I'll hear from him today after work. 

And I did hear from him briefly.  He happened to be on IM,and we had a short conversation in which he said he didn't know why I was so sensitive,and took things personally.  Well people, DUH….because someone just out of the blue stopped calling me for six months in the recent past and then started again….  So, being me, I explain that I was just a little upset because I had really wanted to talk to him last night and we had made plans to do so and then he was not there.  I get no real explanation as to why he didn't call back, or anything, and he sort of made some statements about "If you come to Florida…this and that"    Newsflash….I am on my way, at this point considerable effort has beenput into securing me something in Florida, and it is about 80 degrees there.  I crave 80. 

I ask if he wants to talk tonight, and he signs off IM.   

It is amazing to me this entire situation because now I am feeling the same amount of misery I felt the first time, but double because I have already been through the very same thing once before.  I would think that considering what he did before, he would understand that I might be a little sensitive to the particular not communicating issue.  

but no instead, I seem to be the stupid one.  twice.   Men are strange, but not this strange.

Now I am at a confusion point.  I do not know what to do.

There is a position in Orlando.  It pays extra well, and is Day shift,  but the hospital is crazy busy, and I am not so sure I can handle the crazy busy anymore.  If things were to pan out this would be a good position as it is close to said man, and also to the National Training Center.  it will also look nice on the resume, if I can succeed.  

However, there are also some smaller hosptials with good contracts,still fairly close and I'd have what I would consider a gaurenteed chance of job success. Maybe Not close enough to train at the training center…but, there are other gyms,and I am not really in super shape at the moment. 

So where to go.  Gaurenteed job success? Or a challenging assignment, with a few red flags.

And I am angry.  Why do this to a person twice.  While I may be taking things personally, given the history, I think I have a right to do so.

I guess I should go with Florida Hospital East….Known by many travelers in Florida as "the beast".  Gaurenteed resume builder, I will be very busy adapting, and I would have the chance to have a National Training Center Trainer. and possibly the odd man here might be fun to hang out with…possibly.  

Arrrugh. I feel so stupid.  I keep thinking I should give this a chance, but then I wonder why I should because it's pretty painful….again and again and again

I feel like Charlie Brown.



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19 thoughts on “Blech. Or How can I be stupid Twice.

  1. Wow. Pretty tough situation. I'm thinking that this guy has a little black book and he's kept you in his back pocket. I sincerely hope you aren't offended by my comment. That really is an unfortunate position to be put in. Hope it works out one way or another. As far as work goes, I like a challenging and rewarding position, so long as it does not take away from me being able to find reward in other things.

  2. Ugh! I hate when people do this to someone. It is down right rude and annoying. blech!
    Okay, in my opinion what you need to do is this: make a pros and cons list of the bigger busier hospital and then a pros and cons list of the smaller hospitals. Leave the VOX guy completely out of the equation. Look at your pros and cons—-then still go with your gut. If your gut is telling you that you are not up for the fast pace of the bigger hospital, then listen to it. If your gut says a bigger hospital will be a good change of pace, then go for it.
    If the VOX guy is just a space cadet, well, he's already got two strikes against him. One more and he should be history!
    Florida in Springtime—definately not the cold of NM!
    Good luck and vent all you want. You know I bend all of my 'hoods ears/eyes quite a bit. It's nice to be able to return the favor. šŸ™‚

  3. No Denny….you don't offend me this is totally my thought also… Oh course, he just called me about 10 mins ago to apologize explaining that he was/is very stressed out due to an upcoming business trip…so who knows???

  4. Thanks Trish. right now I can not decide. As I told Denny Boy Wonder just called to apologize. He is stressed about his upcoming business tripto a place he hates, and I can see how that is affecting his behavior. He told me he understands who I am stuck right now in a wierd place in NM as well, so things get warped. But really…I am amazed at how I can just put myself in this up and down and up and down position…I'm also amazed that I can feel such emotion…
    I am not good at dating, and don't get asked out alot, (except for some reason by married men…who knew.) So, I never know what to do.
    Well. Off to work. Thank you for listening…. (she says sniffily)…

  5. I agree with I-Luv-Eeyore and Dutterman. Take the job on the merit of the job, not the vox guy. If it is a good career move it might be worth it. Don't your parents also live somewhat close by? You can live there and never contact him if you feel like it. I can't explain men. Don't even want to try that one. If someone was serious about even a friendly relationship though, they wouldn't ignore you for 6 months. Ultimately, do what is right for you. You do have other friends on vox that will keep you company. šŸ™‚

  6. Forget him. You deserve BETTER than this! This guy sounds like he isn't the slightest normal in social etiquette. Signing off of IM before you have a chance to respond and not responding to phone calls…also kind of dropping you off the planet for months at a time just sounds like a complete lack of respect for you. YOU deserve better than this and it has nothing to do with being too sensitive. ANYBODY in their right mind would be upset just as you currently are.

  7. You mention lots of pros for going to Florida and I agree with Trish and the others about choosing a hospital that would be good for you in the goals you have for your career. I agree about leaving the Vox guy out of the decision-making on which hospital. I say that just because of his track record thus far. If you two hit it off once there then it'll be an added bonus. I like getting other guys opinions so it's cool Chris has spoken straight-up to you about what he thinks. Your Vox guy sounds like he could be a heart-breaker (he already has been). But sometimes people are better in person than on the internet (that's cutting your guy some slack here) so he could pleasantly surprise you.
    I'd suggest you not go down there expecting him to be any different though. Have enough good things going for yourself there and enjoy the sunshine and warmth of Florida!

  8. I can't really add anything to the above, only to reiterate what's already been said. Even if he's not messing you around intentionally – to do this unintentionally is WORSE, and what's more, he'll never change because he can't see that what he's doing is wrong.

  9. How ironic – I was just thinking about how I have no "friends" or "family" in my Vox hood and was wondering if I should make use of those labels sometime. I'm with Chris on this one – there have been too many red flags already. Long distance relationships are difficult for sure, but if he were stressed he should've wanted to call you, not avoid you. It seems like he's either emotionally unstable, or he's lining you up as Plan B in case a local Plan A falls through.As for the job, if your #1 goal is to develop a nationally recognized career, then having the big names on the resume will help; e.g. it's hard for professors to get a job at a big university without an Ivy League degree somewhere on their CV. If your goal is to make a decent living and be able to pursue other interests, then take the job that's more enjoyable and you'll likely accomplish just as much personally, and future employers will indeed consider what you did, not just where you did it.I don't know if that made sense… I'm a little biased against "resume building" for its own sake based on past experiences. Anyway, hopefully your fellow Voxers can be of help!

  10. Well, I've never been to FLorida, there is the triathelete training center near by, and well, I figure it will all work itself out. We'll see how he behaves in the coming weeks.

  11. Thank you Chris. This means a lot to me. I have an idea in mind that I should go down there, be super nice and sweet and just start dating his best friend…and see what he thinks of that. Either way, I am calling and talking to recruiters again today, and trying hard to make a decision.

  12. Oh I will never develop a nationally recognized career, I am a pleeb. But the key in travel nursing is to have a mix of large trauma centers, small critical access hospitals, and things in between, so that I am entirely marketable. Currently my resume is very marketable, thus I get about 10 calls a week from headhunters, and I am always hired. But, I know if I keep going to the smaller places, eventually I will lose skills, and my resume will become unbalanced. And deep deep down some part of me misses the chaos of a nice big Emergency Department. I am so so tired of treating sore throats.

  13. How about a tummy ache? (treating them I mean…OK it sounded funnier in my head)…
    And yeah, with what most everyone said above – my gut says be careful with this guy. Just from what you said here, he either sounds like the kind of guy who can't handle anything "stressful" and will flake out every time ANYthing out of his normal routine comes up, or else he is a player (or worse). (Just from my own bad past experiences – I have found that anyone who suddenly logs off of IM with no explaination is afraid of getting caught chatting.)
    On the other hand, though, warm weather does sound nice! Granted, it hasn't been as cold here is most everywhere else in the nation recently, but it certainly hasn't been very warm either!

  14. tummy aches can turn out to be serious stuff, and the number one complaint for most ER visists is actually Adominal pain, so I suppose to me tummy aches are nice. BUt Sore throats. Killing me they are.
    Yes, I've pretty much decided to give this one up.

  15. I finally just subbed to the hospital that would take submissions. There are so many good reasons to go there beyond Marathon Man. But I've just decided to chalk another one up to me being stupid and move on. If the only assignment in Florida becomes somewhere on the beach, I'm taking it. And I think I will stop answering the telephone.

  16. I'm late to the party as I'm just getting caught up online after the worst part of my flu. I agree with the others that your choice should be for you and not some guy. The guy sounds flaky and I wouldn't want to count on him being around. From your post today it looks like you're making a decision. Hopefully things with this guy won't become even more strange.

  17. Thanks Amanda, and I hope you really are on the mend. It was a bad bad flu this year.
    Yes decision is done. Ifhe wants to evenbe my friend at this point he would have to do something fairly spectacular, and I don't see that happening.

  18. I saw your post, too, this morning. Sounds good about your plans. I had to smile when I misread one sentence on your other post this morning. Thought I'd tell you just for fun.
    You said, "No National Training Center, but I imagine there are decent gyms there."
    At first glance I thought you said this, "No National Training Center, but I imagine there are decent guys there." hehe šŸ˜€

  19. LOL, I'm feeling pretty sad and miserable, and just plain stupid, how could I do this to myself TWICE!!! but I imagine there are decent guys there.
    Perhaps I should edit to write that instead. that post is public and in a way it is intended to be a slight message to the offending Voxer. I am toying with the idea of making this post public as well…

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