On Nightmares and…

Well, It is only Thursday but its been a rather bad week.

To begin with Florida is having it’s annual cold snap.  Since Sunday it has been dropping into the high twenties/low thirties at night.  It sort of warms in the daytime, but there has been a cutting wind.  This sort of weather automatically puts me in a mood.  It’s hard to get warm and I feel always a little achey.

On Monday I came into work to learn that one of my friends and co-workers had taken an overdose sometime in the night.  She was alright but was still in the department and I got to be her nurse.  We pulled a ton of strings to get her admitted to an actual Psych hospital rather than our county psych facility.  So this took Hours and hours and hours….She was a pretty easy patient, as far as care, but the entire day was horrible.  Firstly she was angry that we had to put her under a baker act and send her anywhere but home.  So every time I went into the room, she gave me the hairy eyeball.  I was a little frustrated because I knew she knew the consequences of her actions.  Overdoses are not that uncommon in the general population and we see at least 3-5 a week.  We did finally get her sent to the Best Psych facility in our area, outside of county lines etc, but I don’t feel very positive about the entire thing.  Deep down, I feel sort of confused and a little amazed.  We all knew she was having a lot of issues.  She started her job when I did.  Within a few months things seemed to go sour and every time she showed up to work she looked as if she had been crying.  I would go out to eat with her once in a while.  It turns out others had also been looking out for her.  She had been spending time with 6-8 other nurses from work who were all trying to help her get through this rough patch.  SO even with all these people giving her a lot of love care and attention she had to do what she did.  The consequences of this are so very serious.   The whole thing has me feeling a bit blue.  I feel bad because I missed how depressed she was, or I dismissed it.  I also do realize that she really has been given an enormous amount of support and that if she could not overcome it with that then there are some more serious issues, which I hope she gets help with.  One of the other nurses said, “Well you have to think about how many other people are out there walking around feeling that bad.”  So smile at strangers and be sure to let people know they are cared for.

As far as Nightmares, I have been having them about my upcoming race…  Since my miraculous time improvements over the past 2 weeks, there is a slim but palpable chance that I could have a PR for my Half in Cape Coral.. Since I came to that realization, I have been stressing, calculating, and getting very anxious.  I’ve had dreams about the course changing from flat to Hills….to those dreams where I can barely move though I am using great effort (Does anyone else ever have these?  My Mom said she didn’t understand).  Not having the “I forgot my shoes” scenarios yet, but there’s time.  I’m eyeballing the forecast carefully.  Yesterday it was cast for 99% humidity eeek!  today down to 86% and 30% chance of rain, but it looks as if the rain will wait until 10:00am.  The whole thing has got me calculating out this and that, and frankly, making me a bit distracted.  I’ve been worrying about getting hurt either running or while doing Yoga…and so on it goes.  I really don’t have a big chance at a PR, but the fact that there is a chance, is a good thing….So we will see.

On a lighter note.  Has anyone else tried those planters Creme brulee Almonds?  Wow, they are just like dessert!!!


6 thoughts on “On Nightmares and…

  1. Oh my gosh, what a thing to have to deal with. She is very lucky to be alive. I’m sure that has placed a lot of pressure on you though. A friend of my husband’s died earlier last month due to an accidental overdose (percoset & alchohol).

    That is very strange that you are having those dreams about the upcoming race. I’m sure it’ll be fine. It sounds like you are in great shape and have taken the time to properly train. I haven’t had any race nightmares as of yet but then again I haven’t done many races either. Just take a deep breath. You’ve put in all the hard work to manage it so trust that everything will work out fine.

    I haven’t heard of those almonds yet but I’ll have to keep an eye out! They sound incredible.

  2. I’m sorry that you’re having a crappy week. I hope it gets better and that things go well at the race. It sounds like some time away from work is needed.

    I hope that your friend and coworker is able to get some help and realize that she has people out there willing to help who also care about her.

  3. I used to have that dream a lot. It usually happened during an afternoon nap while Jordan and the boys were down for their naps. If I had promised to watch another set of kids—I’d dream that I overslept and when the Dad knocked on the front door I’d shoot up off of the couch only to fall back down and no matter how much I struggled I couldn’t get up off the couch nor could I keep from dreaming I was going back to sleep. No matter how much I fought it I couldn’t get up and I couldn’t wake up. When I would wake up from the nap I always felt ‘off’ and it would take about an hour or so to start feeling ‘normal’ again.

    Your co-worker must have been pretty seriously depressed and able to hide it from caring and concerned co-workers/friends. I hope she gets the help she needs.

    Cold front. Alabama is getting hit by it, too. We are lucky if the temps reach 50. It is just so early in the season for these types of temps. I hope you are managing to stay warm…is it true that some houses in Florida do not have central heat, thus relying on space heaters for warmth? bbrrrrrr

  4. Emmy says:

    Yes, I have those nightmares all the time, but I’m usually being chased by something, LOL. How awful that the temperatures are that low, I didn’t think you would get that this early in Florida (I say as we scratch our heads over 12F that’s usually reserved for February)…..

    I am so sorry to hear about your friend and coworker. I understand why she’s at your workplace, but it seems like a real tough thing to treat your own friend. Not to compare people to animals – but in vet clinics it’s well known that vets/nurses are never supposed to treat their own pets. It’s too emotional and complicated. She’s probably feeling more than a bit embarassed over the whole thing so don’t take it personally if she gives you the hairy eyeball. You’re a good woman for looking after her.

  5. I’m sorry you’re having such a rough week. I hope the next one is better, that the weather warms up again, that your friend does well with her treatment and that you get some dreamless nights!

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