It has been a horrifically long and difficult week. I can not believe that Tomorrow will at least be a new week and I don’t have to repeat this one!
Work was awful. This is one reason why. The other reason is that I apparently have been having some pretty bad pain for a while now and it has apparently made me cranky and MEAN! I had to actually speak with my manager about how mean I have been to some of my co-workers. I get really annoyed when people don’t follow directions and function like fools, but apparently I need to be nicer to them about it. In the end, things seem to have worked out, My Manager also suffered from chronic neck pain until she had a cervical fusion, so after some in depth discussion, she actually became more supportive. But still… I have never been so irritable and such. After that day I seriously considered doing something different, some sort of regular Nursing job. So just getting along with people at work has become a challenge. As in most work places, people do not always (often?) do what they are supposed to do, and it can become quite aggravating. The trick is (as in ALL work places) to somehow circumnavigate it, have low expectations and usually all is well. Somewhere in there, I had raised my expectations.
Running. Well. I went in to PT on Tuesday. Had a great time! The PT let me bounce around on a trampoline for some moments and that was really really fun. It cheered me up after Monday. He was attempting to stretch my hip and finally just looked at me, and said…you know, I feel it slipping into the wrong place every time I stretch it…You need surgery. Being the not very sensitive guy that he is, he then proceeded to leave me on the table in utter and complete shock! PT guys are always supposed to want to do more PT on you!!!
So I immediately went and phoned the surgeon. He was able to see me that afternoon. And another shocker. he seemed very very cautious about jumping in and doing the surgery. He also seemed maybe a bit annoyed at the Physical Therapist, who of course is not a surgeon.
I did a Diagnostic Injection of the hip on Wednesday. Although it was slightly more painful for the needle placement into my hip, the Orthopaedic Surgeon did not hit any nerves. He popped me with some numbing agents, Lidocaine and Marcaine. Then he popped the needle out. He’s a man of few words, which is difficult for me, as I am a chatty Kathy. Still, he let me put back on all my clothing after injecting me, for which I really love him. He then manipulated my hip into a whole bunch of positions which are often painful to me. I actually felt some pain from other areas, but none in my groin area.
So then…We sort of stared at each other. And he finally said, well….this is the relief you would get from the surgery. Thus the surgery was booked. I then went to my manager, who was helpful and helped me start the process for a Medical Leave. After that, I went home, then went back to the Gym, spoke with the PT, who was actually suddenly more sensitive. He kept telling me, “You see, you don’t have to have this pain.” The pain of course came back after about 6-8 hrs.
I went running and swimming before the numbing wore off, could not get the landmark markings off my leg, so everyone at the pool kept staring at it (there were about 4 black X’s all over the place, plus a bruise where he injected.
Then after informing all the potential players in the Surgery plan, and also probably some of the non-potential players, I went home and abruptly and completely lost my mind. Just like that. There are a lot of what if’s involved and I am just a sad sad panda.I have no idea how well I shall be walking, when I can really begin running, but I do know that there will be no actual training for several months. But At least I can get into the pool and such.
I am such a mix of emotions right now. My biggest one is actually Rage! I mean, I have trained normally and properly, I did nothing to injure myself, my bones are just shaped funny. It seems so unfair!!!!!
And I am just down down down. My actions and thoughts have slowed considerably, but I think that may be clearing somewhat.
In a way I am just eager to get it done so I can stop thinking about it, and so I can see what happens!!!
This video shows why Hip scoping is a little more involved than Knee scoping.
Is an explanation of why I actually need the procedure. And yes, you did hear that right, a year and a half of recovery. guess I will be taking up some other hobby. Hopefully it will not be crying.
Surgery is Scheduled for the 26th. Until then, I’m kind of doing a lot of running…the PT said, heck go ahead, whatever damage is there, is done…Hopefully this works. Now for all the details of house cleaning….dog sitting etc etc etc….