So, My main focus these days is getting ready for Surgery.
The Big day is May 26th at 2:00 pm.
Because I live alone I had a ton of extra details to take care of, like finding someone to care for the dog, and someone to transport me home after the procedure, meals etc. Though, the procedure is going to be going on so late in the day, I am starting to think I may well end up in the hospital overnight. Still, a work friend of mine was totally happy to assist me, and one thing that is really important for me to learn is that sometimes you have to let others be of service. I need help, and if people are willing to do it, well, it may make them feel needed too!
It’s been a really nutty couple of days. I’ve actually been going through a process of actual grieving. I know that seems so silly. I had a whole year of running planned out. Training was going really well. I was really excited about it, and really focused on it…beyond focused, a little obsessed with my training schedule. Only one person so far has really understood how much anger and frustration and helplessness I have been feeling. Not only do I have to give up running, but I have to give up working for a while (which may be a good thing) and a great deal of independence. Right now I could use a really servile boyfriend!
I sure am lucky to have a lot of friends. I seem to have gotten finally over the anger part, and also the bargaining – I actually dressed up and put on makeup and such for my Doc’s appointment, so much so that he asked me if I had changed something like my hair! I for some reason was hoping that if I looked better he would say I didn’t need surgery! LOL.
All the anger has been replaced by the usual signs of depression. i can concentrate, but it is difficult. All of a sudden I can barely sleep, though I now have an RX for Lunesta, so that will probably knock me out cold! But I am not tearful anymore. Saw the Coach today and while we were working out he stated that I seem to be coping better.
I’ve ordered a totally cute tankni suit, and I am planning on doing the Lucky’s Lake Swim which is a local cult type of swim thing, you swim 1 km across and back a lake, and get to sign the wall. All sort of people have done it, including Olympians, and non-Olympians. I think it’s nice to have a goal beyond running for the moment.
SO All is pretty good. I’ve been running and running and my hip is starting to hurt and hurt. So. Looking forward to getting it done!
I’m right now pretty worried I’ll forget something!