Pre-surgery doldrums.

So, My main focus these days is getting ready for Surgery.

The Big day is May 26th at 2:00 pm.

Because I live alone I had a ton of extra details to take care of, like finding someone to care for the dog, and someone to transport me home after the procedure, meals etc.  Though, the procedure is going to be going on so late in the day, I am starting to think I may well end up in the hospital overnight.  Still, a work friend of mine was totally happy to assist me, and one thing that is really important for me to learn is that sometimes you have to let others be of service.  I need help, and if people are willing to do it, well, it may make them feel needed too!

It’s been a really nutty couple of days.  I’ve actually been going through a process of actual grieving.  I know that seems so silly.  I had a whole year of running planned out.  Training was going really well.  I was really excited about it, and really focused on it…beyond focused, a little obsessed with my training schedule.  Only one person so far has really understood how much anger and frustration and helplessness I have been feeling. Not only do I have to give up running, but I have to give up working for a while (which may be a good thing)  and a great deal of independence.  Right now I could use a really servile boyfriend!

He doesn’t even have to look that good.

I sure am lucky to have a lot of friends.  I seem to have gotten finally over the anger part, and also the bargaining – I actually dressed up and put on makeup and such for my Doc’s appointment, so much so that he asked me if I had changed something like my hair!  I for some reason was hoping that if I looked better he would say I didn’t need surgery!  LOL.

All the anger has been replaced by the usual signs of depression.  i can concentrate, but it is difficult.  All of a sudden I can barely sleep, though I now have an RX for Lunesta, so that will probably knock me out cold!  But I am not tearful anymore.  Saw the Coach today and while we were working out he stated that I seem to be coping better.

I’ve ordered a totally cute tankni suit,  and I am planning on doing the Lucky’s Lake Swim   which is a local cult type of swim thing, you swim 1 km across and back a lake, and get to sign the wall.  All sort of people have done it, including Olympians, and non-Olympians.  I think it’s nice to have a goal beyond running for the moment.

SO All is pretty good.   I’ve been running and running and my hip is starting to hurt and hurt.  So. Looking forward to getting it done!

I’m right now pretty worried I’ll forget something!

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6 thoughts on “Pre-surgery doldrums.

  1. I wish I loved closer – I would be happy to help out with whatever you needed. I can only imagine how you’re feeling. I went through a little of that with my stupid stress fracture last fall … I would have really lost it if it had involved surgery!

    I’m thinking of you! Hang in there.

  2. I’m glad you’re letting a friend help you after surgery. It is tough when you’re alone and undergoing an outpatient procedure. I was lucky that my friends pitched in to help after my various cut-and-release events. The medical center I went to on a regular basis wouldn’t even let me call a taxi: I had to have someone I knew pick me up and take me home.

    It’s not silly to grieve because your running plans for the year have been shelved. I won’t go into it, but there were some plans I had that didn’t work out, and I cried, believe me. It feels like you’re letting go of a child, or a pet. Ditto the living closer—I’d bring you a casserole and a pie. Hope it goes well for you!

  3. I am really sorry about your health and running difficulties, and not having someone to lean on, crab to, and help out. Good luck on your recovery. Keep posting om how things are going.

  4. Hey there MG, the good thing is that once you have this done and out of the way you’ll be able to focus on your recovery and get back into running eventually without worry about causing more damage to your hip. That is great that you are actually letting people help you out. Sometimes accepting help can be hard if you are especially used to being independant.

    Good for you for doing the swim! I think that is great that you just changed your goal to where you are at currently. You are such a fighter and are not letting this whole thing keep you down. That is great. Well I will be thinking good thoughts for you next week at 2pm your time (11am my time). 🙂

  5. Definitely let friends help you out! Ultimately it’ll help in a speedier and smoother recovery. And you’ll always have your online friends to support you as well!

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