Wow, So, my good mood lasted all until, err Friday.
On Friday I had PT. I also now had my own personal rehab protocol. I am not really sure what is going on, but I noted after my session that really, my PT is doing many things that just aren’t anywhere on the protocol. This would be ok with me if:
1: He would explain why its not on the protocol and he wants me to do it. (Perhaps it is an alternative.)
2: The surgery I had was more familiar to him and all the other staff. If he had rehabbed 30 people from this surgery, most with good success, I would feel more comfortable with him changing the protocol.
So, after a bit, I got really angry, tearful and frustrated. I tried to go back and talk to him about it, but he was done for the day and there really was no one else there to talk to. I talked to my trainer briefly, and that was OK.
It would appear I am a bit behind schedule, which is also OK with me. People heal differently. But why he won’t tell me this, just drives me bonkers.
I just felt so confused. I Just don’t understand why it is so hard for people to sit and explain things. I just feel so out of the loop.
Anyway I was so sad, I had breakfast with a friend who happens to be a Child Psychiatrist. I think I now owe him some money. He was very helpful. I cried, and was angry.
breakfast was pretty good though. He and I talked for a long time, and I really need to ask my PT what is going on. My friend reminded me that I don’t goto PT to please the PT, it’s all about me and my hip. He is a good PT, but boy, does he not communicate anything. Plus, they run up to 3 patients at a time, which means I get 33% of his attention if I am lucky during a session. (I mean I have a feeling there is more than 1% on his own life. ) The funny thing is, I think if someone were to ask him, he would say he communicates well, and is very clear in his expectations. Yet, over the past couple of months I have had several experiences of completely not understanding what he wanted, and when I asked a few other people about it, they agreed that it was unclear.
*Best example: Pool running. He told me to pool run prior to surgery, so I did exactly what Pool running is generally considered by most runners. He THEN after I did it, told me he had wanted me to do running in the shallow end of the pool…this is not what is generally considered Pool running. I talked to the Manager about that 2 months ago and she agreed. It’s frustrating to go and try to do something and then be told it is not correct. It would have taken him at most 50 more seconds to say, “I want you in the shallow end of the pool with your feet touching the bottom” but No…. I just got to do it wrong.
So I went from breakfast to the gym feeling just so anxious and irritated. Sadly, and Insanely, I ran into the Manager of PT. She is a wonderful person, and I think by now she must despise me. I would not blame her. Earlier in the week I had to go to her to get my visits cleared up. Looking back I know it isn’t really the PT’s job to investigate issues with insurance, but the fact that my PT was so casual about the stopping of visits (Even after my doctor entirely freaked out about it.) and did not offer me any alternatives, made me very annoyed. ESPECIALLY as it took the Mgr oh about 6 minutes to figure it out. I mentioned to her that I was not going to private pay for sessions if I spent more and more time standing around, which is what happens. If you don’t have a program, then it’s hard to know what to do next. At that point she offered to talk to the therapist. I told her no, please don’t because of my fear of “therapist retaliation!”
Well there she was, poor thing, trying on some shorts in the locker room from the Pro shop. And I asked her if I could ask her a question. She said yes. Now, in retrospect I wish I would have asked her if I could have seen her on Tuesday. But I was so freaked out and upset. We talked for a while. She was very helpful. She again offered a switch to a different therapist. I explained to her that I think my therapist is good, and that the experiences I have had with some of them, (constant referral to my knee surgery which I am still wondering where that came from!) did not make me want to switch. She then sort of talked about how Labrum science is still new, and blah blah. In the end she did say she was going to talk with my PT about giving me more feedback and working me through a session. I wish I could have stayed with her for therapy. She always set such clear expectations for things, and told me what the next step was that I could take if I was feeling stronger etc.
Wow, My Anxiety got so out of control. I still can not believe I did that. I have a strong personal ethics rule which is to not ask people work related questions unless they are AT WORK. But yet…I plead temporary insanity. I hope she forgives me.
I’ve just become “the difficult patient” Wow.
NO PT til Wednesday due to the Holiday weekend.
** ON a “side note” but very related….
My Hip is feeling much much stronger and better. I am moving myself forwards as best I can. I had a “huge” day of work yesterday and expected my hip to be killing me today. Nope. Mild mild discomfort, at times I dont even see it as pain. Hope that continues.