Well it’s been a week.
My Life is so crazy lately. So much focus on my hip and recuperation, and not much else, I feel sometimes as if I am slowly descending into some sort of depression/madness.
On Tuesday My Friend Sam’s Father passed away after a long battle with prostate cancer. I knew he had been sick and was probably not going to live through the summer, but it still surprised me. Sam and I were in the same grade, and pals since we were about 3-4 years old. We reconnected, like so many on FB and discovered we have a lot in common as adults. I really enjoy his still as an adult. His Dad was one year younger than my parents. I can not even begin to think about losing one of my parents. So, I have been trying to quietly comfort Sam, and not freak out over the fact that we all, including my parents, are quite mortal…
Wednesday I had a physical therapy appointment. I was feeling pretty good, and somewhat brave. I finally mentioned that I thought we were behind in the protocol. He said, “I dont even know what week you are in” and at that I freaked out. Total BI$^% all over him. To his credit he was totally neutral and professional. He said, well we can look at the protocol. I then admitted that Dr B. gave me the protocol at the last follow up. He gave it to me mostly because I asked if I could do squats and lunges. At that point he said, NO! and then started to ask, “are you doing them?” I said no, and he said, well lets print off a protocol so you know what the plan is. I hope the PT did not interpret this as Dr. B. wanting me to be on the exact protocol. I am sure he does not care. I am not really sure I care either, but I do want to know why I am where I am….I fuss over the protocol because it is the only way I can see any progress.
After my big blow up, we did some lunges, and I learned the proper way to lunge. which is difficult!!! He explained to me that he can not advance me because my gait is still Antalgic looking. I said that was fine, but he needed to explain to me more because the more I know, the easier it is for me to know what to do.
Well this was all witnessed out in the open by the PT aide. She is a little odd. AS I was doing some mat exercises she started to pepper me with questions regarding why I lived in the town, was I married, why did I come to live here….I felt like I was being interrogated. In addition, I felt like she was judging me a bit….Ugh.
In the end I ended up admitting part of my “issue” with My PT is that I am highly intimidated by him. He was shocked. But he doesn;t see himself as I do. I see him as holding the keys to my success.
What he allows me to do, refuses to let me do, etc all has a direct bearing on my return to running. So yes, I am intimidated by him. On top of that he has an annoying habit of just walking away when a person is mid-sentence. He does it to me and I have seen him do it to others.
Well, all thursday I cried a bit and felt just dejected. I was so frustrated. I was going to talk to the PT manager about switching or getting a referral to another PT group. But, when I turned around and finished my cycling, she was not present. Good thing.
Today was the PT experience I expected. My PT watched my gait, which he has been complaining about and after about 3 rounds, he diagnosed two problems with my gait. I’m taking a huge step with my good leg and a short one with my right. After some fiddling he told me to try to walk faster. As I sped up, the problem disappeared. So, for the moment, the solution is to “Speed up” He watched me do the weights, and found I was doing some of the hip rotations incorrectly and corrected my technique. I still had moments where I was working on my own, which was fine because everything was clear, I knew what I was to be doing and I knew why. I was SO happy. Also he seems OK with the idea of me running a 5K in late October, and a 10K in November. He did not like the idea of me running any Half Marathon, but…that will come….
I wish we had this blow out sooner, because for the first time in ages I feel like he is working towards the same goal I am. I feel a deep sense of relief. I hope this is a harbinger of good stuff.
and healing. I still have mild labrum groin pain but it comes and goes. Eventually I hope it will just GO.