Some days, I miss my old job, a lot.  Today is one of those days.  My old job was really simple. Repetitive.  Same Stuff, different day. if you are nice to the patient, they are usually tolerable, and you do get to help people.

New job, seems to be a labyrinth or sometimes a quagmire.  I go for a few weeks and things go well and I feel very confident.  then something happens, I take a wrong turn in the maze and I feel like a total fool again. This image was taken from Green Cantical, which has some interesting thoughts on spirituality and Christianity.

When I finished work on Friday, I was feeling pretty good. I had finished off a plan for administration that my manager said looked great.  All my surveillance stuff was pretty well under control.  The only thing that was annoying me was trying to figure out how to get Nurses to actually comply with the policies for isolation.

Fast Forward to Monday.  Now I have M-T-W off in some sort of scheme to “save money” during the Holiday week.  I don’t quite get it unless it is some sort of thing to get rid of all my PTO at times inconvenient to me.

But being a good Do-be, I check my work email.  Question from my Manager in there.  I look at it, and try to formulate an answer, but then become confused so I just call her.  Turns out I made an error a few weeks ago with handling something.  She was OK about it, but I was super annoyed.  She then told me that I could not check email from home, because I am not working…LOL.  She then sent me a note explaining that I can not work from home. We have had this discussion before, and I admit, I know this, but, I just really wanted to check something.  Most of the other IP’s do work from home, but since thats the rule where I work, it’s the rule.    I can not of course reply to it, with any side of the story, because….I can not send an email from my work email….and so it goes.  I am really not very excited about all that.  What I have learned, now that I am sadly no longer 20 years old, is that these things are rarely long term issues and if I just let it “blow on over”  in about 2 weeks it shall be forgotten, by everyone except ME.   I really am jealous of people who seem to have these sort of low key jobs, and never seem to have any issues with them.  (I know they probably do, but…)  Some days I’d really love to be the bagger at the grocery, though I would dislike that salary, I am sure.  Adjustments.  Not Easy.  I also feel like I am always one step away from losing the job, but…that is probably my own anxiety talking.

My running has become some sort of a chore so I am dialing WAAAAAAAAy back.   I have been trying for 2-3 weeks now to run 11-12 miles one day and keep coming up with 4-5.  Today I decided that was plenty.  I am doing fine with the amount of exercise I am doing to keep a person healthy.  I go to the gym and run 3-4 miles, or bike 4-6 miles or do a little swimming and some weight training.  It’s not enough to get me ready for racing or running in general, and I know that.  In signing up for the Half in July, I thought it would keep me “on track”.  I did not count of a new job throwing things into turmoil.

So my Half is sunk for July, which is sad….but after y horrific Marathon I’ve decided if I can not do a good race, then it’s probably not a good idea to go out there and “finish it”.  Nothing wrong with Finishing as a goal, but when I know ahead of time that I’m not really prepared to comfortably run the distance, I think it’s not good to try.  I’ll be running the alternative 4 miler around the lake on the same day.  Not very exciting, or challenging, but I think I shall enjoy it more.  After that I’m going to run through the summer, and focus on building strength in the gym and getting a little speedier.  My new plan then is to start Marathon training in August…(UGH HOT)  and train up for a Marathon in January or February.  Most likely February because I have the Ragnar Relay in January…  I think the key here is to build really slow and not to push it…that and to avoid the intense heat that going on right now… whew.


6 thoughts on “Un-Running….

  1. Hang in there! While I completely understand your frustrations, I am also glad to see you are trying keep things fun with your running. Even if that means cutting back on the mileage for a while. Eventually you will get into a groove with work (I’m still struggling with that too) and then I think you’ll probably have more energy to put back into the running. Change takes a lot out of us. 🙂

  2. Not sure running in the heat (if it is a hot there as it currently is here) is such a good thing right now. sure I folks running here with tmeps in the high 90’s, but wonder if they are doing themselves more harm than good

  3. It’s so hot, I’d think it would be a bad thing to run now. I’d just use this period as an excuse to cut yourself some slack, or keep your running to the treadmill or indoor track of your club. I’ve also seen people running out here when temperatures are in the 90s, but they’re usually 20-somethings who are soaking wet with sweat. They don’t look like they’re enjoying themselves at all.

    The work stuff…you can’t win on that one, so it’s just better to dial it back a bit and let it alone for now. One problem with administrative jobs is that you are often bound up by inexplicable rules and procedures. I sometimes think it’s better to be “under the radar” and work at those jobs where no one really cares that much how you do it, as long as it gets done. With greater responsibility however comes greater expectations. Or something like that. :p

    • Yes, Infection Prevention used to be an under the radar admin job where no one ever *really* knew what if was you did. Now, due to HCAPS or something else hospitals arent paid for infections they give patients (duh) so suddenly the job of Infection Prevention is recognied as important…

      I don’t mind running outside int he morning when its in the 70’s I just have too much to focus on…to be committing to 2 hours…

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