So, I’ve had a pretty unpleasant time of things lately. It might not totally be reflected here, but…here it is.
Something went wonky with my running and I have been struggling to get back the ability to run well. In this struggle, I have started to have so many aches and pains that it has been difficult many days to walk at work. I’m not kidding. It hurt so much that I would have just rather stayed in bed.
This… is discouraging. And painful.
I have been feeling really down about it. I’ve been praying a lot about how to resolve this, and in fact, I even started to think about quitting running. I’m not very good at it, and I don’t seem to be getting much better. So I was considering an exercise career of the elliptical and “powerpump” type classes instead.
I am also waiting on my ex physical therapist to decide if he really wants to branch into coaching or not. After all the He said she said, my guess if that he won’t and this made me feel somewhat bereft of help. I want to work with him, not my Massage therapist…as a coach, so I need to seperate the two and then things may improve, or not.
You hear a lot of hooey about “God only gives you what you can handle” and people yell it out cheerfully…and make funny statements, like, “I just wish God didn’t trust me so much.” But it may be totally true.
Yesterday I woke up and knew things could be a lot worse. I don’t know why…sometimes I think with certain prayers, if I take the time to be really quiet with God, to Be Still he brings an answer to the forefront.
I didn’t have any specific examples, but I just started to think about how many things could be different in my life. I could be jobless, or homeless, I could be missing a limb- while not insurmountable, really would make things difficult. I could be much much heavier in weight and having the battle for my life over it. (Instead of a battle to get 1 minute off my mile time..). I could weigh 43 pounds and be in the battle of my life just to live.
Throughout the day I had a lot of reminders. I met a friend for a run- she could only manage 14 minute miles (Yes, it’s walking not running.). I found the run refreshing, while she struggled mightily with it. After that I got a surprise text from one of my best buddies- over the weekend she had taken VERY ill and is now in our ICU on dialysis. Oh yeah. While we were running, we saw another pal who has a family member recovering from a car wreck, she was thrilled that they were finally able to walk for 15 minutes on a treadmill…. Yes, it could be worse.
I really have come to see that my troubles, which are not trivial, are a blessing to me. They could be a lot worse. So these days I’m thanking God for giving me the problems that I have. Yup…they are still problems, they still cause me a great deal of anxiety and frustration, because I am still in the dark about the best way to handle them. But I have finally come to an understanding of rejoicing in troubles. I’m so glad these are my troubles right now, rather than a different set of troubles. I do, however, hope that many of the get resolved very soon as well, so I can focus a bit better not only on my own training and job, but also on some of my friends who are clearly in need of support.
I’m facing some challenges today. They may be dwarfed by someone else’s challenges, but they are my problems and they deserve consideration and attention. I’m encouraged to actively look for solutions and to try to resolve things as soon as possible. I also get the feeling if I don’t things could get worse!