New Year…again!

As I age, time moves so quickly.  Once year seems to race into the next.

2011 was a really difficult year with my hip surgery, and recovery.

2012 was a good one for me, with a return to running, a new coach, a new job, and lots of new friends.   Possibly because of that, I also feel ready for a new adventure!

I wonder what I will be thinking doing by the end of next year. I have a lot of goals, but we shall see how they all work out.

So what’s on your list????

Mine?

RUN!

406565_10150255712954999_95106362_nI have some time goals this year.

I want to run a half in under two hours:  I have two golden opportunities.  The first is in April, the second in July.  The April course is the one I want to do it on, because it’s merely flat.  The July course has about 8 miles downhill So a PR there will be nice, but it might feel like cheating.  A PR at both would be the ultimate.

I want to run a Decent Marathon: I have ONE opportunity only, but it’s glittery golden, in that this fantastic, wonderful, funny, and talented person is willing to pace me in. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.  I’m thinking it would be nice to run somewhere in the 4 hr 20 min range, but…I would not cry if I ran a 4:40 either, or a 4 hr flat.  Bit nervous about being paced, since I’m just not sure how I will be at the tail end of a Marathon, the last one I did, I was AWFUL, but that was because I knew I was SO off my time goal, and I was angry at myself.  So, who knows.

I want to run some trail races:  My coach is sort of pushing the trail on me, or so he thinks.  I’ve been DREAMING of spending some time on trail, but I have been hesitant because really a person has to be in much better shape to run a good trail race..compared to a road race.  The trail events are always more fun, more beautiful and less full of the Matchy matchy set that I dislike…

Diva 5K Run 2011 001And, yep I stole this from another blog  http://mytrainingadventures.blogspot.com/2011/03/diva-5k-run.html  I like the blog a lot actually, But I’m not real fond of the whole matchy phenomenon. Though if you do go to this nice person’s blog you’ll find it was for a Mom/Daughter thing which makes it totally 100% acceptable.  I’ve been known to show up at races wearing a purple cap, blue skirt and a red shirt.with two separate style socks, I probably should give more care.  But the coach feels I’d like the “trail scene” (Whatever that is)  better than the road race scene.  We’ll see.  I have some road racing in me I am sure.

I want to trust the process more: 522391_461892440516135_110047995_n

I’ve been working with my coach since September.  It’s been wildly successful for my results.  I respect him greatly, and admire him, but I still tend to question a lot unnecessarily.      At our last meeting in mid December,  we seemed to have come to a further understanding of each other, and our communication seems to have improved to the point where both of us seem more comfortable with each other.  For whatever reason it can be awkward at times, but I am starting to see that fade away and communication from him is more easily understood, and probably on his end, I am telling him things that make more sense than before too.  It’s a beautiful thing.  Sometimes I get all emotional and think about how he saved my running…kind of true, kind of an exaggeration, as I was running before he started helping me, but…TRUE that I am now having loads of fun and really enjoying the running so much more.  So…who knows.  Good to be grateful.  I’ll be working on eliminating some of the Stubborn-ness. We’ll see how that goes.  I know I am not a total joy to work with, but…he seems to have my number and find 90% of my fussiness amusing…it’s the 10% that is irritating that I need to eliminate.

Job:  I changed jobs in April.  It has been a very difficult transition.  I almost quit entirely a few weeks ago.  In my old position, I worked 3 twelve hour shifts weekly, and did not have any “take home work”.  New Position:  8 hr days 5 days a week.  Lots of take home reading, and a lot of people looking for answers and results.  It really is a lot more pressure, and stress.  My vacation at home made things much better.  I do think by next year at this time, I will either be feeling fairly comfortable, or be back at my old job.

So goal for this year is to get through it and be ready to take the Certification Exam in Infection Prevention.  Having the Certification will make me Mobile, so if for whatever reason, I need to, decide to, want to move out of Florida, I can very easily.  I can still most likely obtain a job in an Emergency Department, but…I love having options.  Heck I might just learn to be a Dialysis Nurse, just to see what that’s like.  So goal may be to LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT.

Home:  SIlly goal.  I want to keep my home SPARKLING CLEAN.

72620612711926573_ZSEIffLt_bBy nature I am a but sloppy.  I find though when my home is organized and clean I function much better.  It’s also easier to keep clean when one cleans regularly, instead of going on a rampage right before guests come.  I started this in 2012 with Moderate success.  2013- I hope will be a rousing success!!!  I’ve found a ton of interesting tips on repelling Dog hair on Pinterest, so I am going to give them a try on the baseboards.

Personal:  Zip it!  I’ve lived here a long time  now and so many of my acquaintances and friends are starting to overlap.  I have a lot of opinions about things and people.  Many are unfounded.  If someone found that I felt a certain way, or said something, they would not be thrilled.  So…for 2013, Zipping it.  entirely.  No opinions on anyone’s love life, running life, swimming ability, job choices.  I have not gotten into trouble with this yet, but…I keep feeling like, “Wow…if so and so knew you really felt like XYZ” she would never talk to you again….SOOOO….Zipping it.  Most of these opinions I think are usually just to make ME feel better about ME and the choices I make.

Prime example.  Lots of people around me love to race.  They sign up for a bunch during the season.  I never do this.  It is too stressful, expensive, and in the end usually produces some sort of injury.  I have been kind of snotty about it.  saying, “The medals aren’t for me…I don’t want to race that much, blah blah blah”  All that is true. I am not a huge fan of the medal, and I actually prefer just running to races.  But behind it was me also saying, “I don’t need a medal to run, (SNOOTY), and I’m “above” finisher medals.  Realizing that I was being bitchy…brought me to a realization that while it’s ok that I don’t care about medals buttons bows etc…lots of people love them, and it sure doesn’t make them lesser runners…just different ones…So Zipping it. ZIpping it.  This one may be the hardest for me to keep…I have a few friends I like to chatter with, and I’m going to stop it.  Here’s to an opinion free New Year.

 

Main thing I hope to achieve in 2013 is Balance, between work and working out, play and learning, etc…. we’ll see how it goes.  January one has not been too bad so far…

IMG_0157

Here I am after our Central Florida 5K Klub run fooling around…

and here I am looking vaguely normal… Or as normal as I get.  Never have been one for photos in the car, but we forgot to take one as a group….IMG_0162

Funk

I feel like I’m in a Funk.

Nope Not Funking out….

Just Funky.

 

Funny thing is that pretty much everything is going “OK”.

I had my “annual evaluation”  at work last friday.  It was very good.  I should get a raise when they dole them out.  I was not given any of that “constructive criticism”.  My Manager seems to really feel I am “doing a tremendous job”.   So check, I am “ok” in the job.  I worry a lot about the job. It had a ton of responsibilities that are so totally different than my previous ones.  I’m not 100% satisfied with it, but I am also not 100% miserable.  So I guess it’s like many jobs.  I do get the benefit of making a difference.  I just find sometimes the pressures of the job to be a bit more than I care for.  Certainly, I miss working 3 days a week.  Gee, sounds like everyone’s job!

Training is going Well!  I really enjoy my new coaching situation. It is affordable.  I kind of balked at the initial price. Now, I see that I get more than my money’s worth.  The plan he has put together has given me 2 PR’s.  One when I wasn’t even trying  and the other, I faced many interesting challenges and probably shouldn’t have had a PR.  On top of that, he somehow easily puts up with my neurotic personality.  In fact, I think he finds it mildly entertaining. We don’t do a lot of workouts together, but when we do they are usually fun.   The best thing about the new training is that in the last 1-2 weeks I have stopped, FINALLY, having the aggravating pulling/pinch sensation in my repaired hip.  He knows what he is doing.  My Hip feels super super good.  I love running without that constant irritation and pain, and the fear in the back of my head that if I speed up or take a sharp turn something is going to go POP.  Now… that sure doesn’t mean I’m not careful.  So no complaints there.  I’m currently 3 weeks away from a Half Marathon attempt.  I don’t feel prepared, and I have a goal time in mind, and I see from my training that I am not quite at the goal time yet.  In other words, if I have the Race of My Life, I might get it.  most likely I will be 5-10 slower, but…who knows.  and really who cares. I’m SO grateful for this coach.  I can not even begin to explain how I feel when I think about the progress I’ve made both in speed and in decreasing pain.  He knows how to work with me, when we do a work out, I always feel totally wiped out by the end…and all with out the usual “personal trainer fluff”  I mean, he never claps, cheers, yells or otherwise “motivates”.  He has never said, “Come on, toughen up”.  If I quit something midway, he lets me. It’s my training after all.  I had a rough week this week and kind of showed my totally bad side.  He seemed to take it in stride, kind of shut down my “noise”  and got me refocused to where I should be.  SO training, going well. CHECK.

Through running this year, unlike any other year, I’ve made some really good friends.

 

I’ve also lost one.  I started to get faster and faster, and while I’m still age graded as pretty slow, I’m suddenly a wee bit faster than her possibly.  I remember several years ago her surprised statement, “Your half time is better than mine!”.  She has repeatedly refused to run with us as a group stating various reasons, but from chatting with her in the past, I knew it was because she thought she couldn’t train well running slow with me.  The last few long runs I’ve done have been much much faster than her.  To me it is the reward of hard work.  Sadly, she pretty much has stopped talking with me.  Guess I was only her friend when I was slower.  Hmmm.  I fight a bit with the sin of pride. it’s ok to be proud, but to get all competitive, over something like a “fun run” is pretty stupid.

So training. Check going well.

Social life check.  Going pretty well.  I admit that I’d really like to start doing some dating again.  I’ve “met” some people via the internet through Daily Mile or blogs, but no one close by seems to be either single, or my age, or not Gay.  I have no issue with Gay people, but it’s really hard for me to be sexy for a gay man you know.

Hmmm,

You know I think my Funk just may well clear up as soon as this rest day is Over!

 

Life’s Little updates

Whew.  Life has been hectic.

So so much went on in the past few weeks it is hard to classify everything.

Work is chugging along.

It would appear now that I’ve been doing this job for about 4 months, that my job consists of making graphs, and handling “crises”….

I dislike the crises.  They always come at odd times, and raise up a lot of anxiety in me.  Plus they usually place me into some conflict with various people or departments.

I held my second committee meeting this week, and it was alright, not perfect, but alright. I surely am not an expert in running meetings, yikes.

In addition, I had to present at a Critical Care meeting, which also went “ok”.  i got a bit annoyed at one of the physicians, who was being a bit of a butt, but he was equally “butt-y” to everyone so I just don’t care.

In the midst of this we had our first deadline for submission of data to the National Health Safety Network, which is of course, part of the all powerful CDC.  On Monday, my hospital showed “out of compliance”.  Given that the deadline was Wednesday…I figured I was alright.  I did the download of data and waited for us to come off the naughty list.  They never updated the naughty list, so a great amount of intense fear went into that day as we all scrambled to find some way to create proof of our submission.  It is the first time that the Government will be withholding revenue if we are out of compliance, so people were…having some problems to say the least.

So work, is well, like many peoples work.

Oddly, during this week, I did manage to go out on two dates.   I met a man last year in October, who seemed nice but was only in town temporarily.  He was back in town and contacted me and we went out to dinner and did a spin at the gym and such.  He is a nice man, but he really is a bit older than me.  I think he may have more in common with my Dad than with me, but…at the same time, we have been able to talk for hours and enjoy each others company with no problems…

Not so sure I’m ready to be a couple like that.  Luckily…he lives out of state.  We are planning on doing a Half Marathon together.  And so I have some time to think about it.  Initially I was thinking No, this can’t happen. I was doing all the calculating, when he is X age, I will be X age.  Then a friend of mine reminded me..I may never be that age…so I should probably enjoy whatever I can enjoy…So there’s that thought too.

My Hip seems to be holding up fine.  I’m running OK.  I have put most of my training over on a different Blog, which is really more of a run log….  My main concern is that I seem to be careening towards the Marathon and yet my training seems just “off”.   I’m hitting most workouts, but I just feel Off.  Tomorrow is a big long run, so we will see how that goes. I enlisted a pal to help me, and she is a much faster running, so I am sure I’ll get something done.  I think once I finish off a good successful long, I will feel better.

OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD  update!

I have discovered the 17 cent notebooks do fit in shoeboxes.  So I got some today, as well as a Belle doll

for a steal, it was 2.00.  Normally this would retail for about 7.00- which to me is too much to pay for most of my Operation Christmas Child boxes.  I also got in the mail a ton of free samples and such that are totally acceptable for OCC.  One of the best this week was a daisy pin which would be appropriate for an older girl.  For those of you who do OCC  I really do recommend that you sign up for these freebies. I’ve gotten mostly things that are useful for me.  (Laundry detergent, powdered drink samples, coffee samples, maxi pad samples.)  But I have also gotten a cute Mickey Mouse Pin and now this Daisy Pin.  Since they are free, it feels great to add these little things in.

I’m really excited about our packing party this year.  A little nervous as the man who is hosting the party with me seems to be taking a bit too much interest in me….It must be that time in my life.

At any rate, My one thing I need to experiment with is getting the “contact paper”  and trying to use that to cover the shoe boxes.  I know it will make them into something somewhat durable, plus I admit, I HATE wrapping the boxes.

Big plus, I also found some Lego stuff on sale, so part of the Nephews Holidays are taken care of too!

SO things continue…just as they always have I suppose!

 

 

Updates…

I’ve been ignoring this little blog for another….mostly been posting in my training blog, which is a bit Boring as it is often just a recitation of running, and how my body feels.

There is so much I want to put an opinion to and so little time.

So….I probably won’t.

Work has done a big flip-flop 

I had felt things easing off, but…I was not sure if that was my imagination, or just tiredness.  The intensivist Physician who made my life extremely difficult when I first started came by the office yesterday ( at my request). I showed him the “quality board”  we have  that has the measures we are measuring on it and he was thrilled with how nice it looked.  We then sat for a bit and talked about the upcoming critical care meeting, and discussed one particularly “buggy” patient that has us concerned.  After looking at one of the sensitivities we jointly decided that we needed further isolation for that patient…so beyond gowns on to booties gowns and gloves.  At the end of our conversation he suddenly looked at me and said,” you know, you really are doing great.  I’m glad you are here.”  I could have fainted.  After all the belittling and rudeness, he comes out with this?  Like any good kid, or dog, of course I felt immensly pleased.

 

I admit, this really does not negate the fact that he was very unpleasant to begin with.  But, it is much easier to work with him, if he is accepting and supportive of me.  He is very popular in the hospital, and so his support for anything is crucial.  I was actually also able to tell him that he made things very difficult at the beginning.  He of course, being a MAN and a DOCTOR did not apologise but he did the next best thing…the half apology!  I think in the future…he may change tactics a bit.  He is still young and growing and learning as we all are.

The only thing at work that is a little unusual and probably should not bother me, but does is this.  Our office has a vacant Directors position.  Under the director would be Me, and the Risk Manager and the PI coordinator and the secretary.  There are a few staff people who do data abstracting under the PI coordinator.  Because of the vacancy, the Risk Manager who has been there for 20 years has been promoted to being my manager, which is fine with me.  THe other people in the office however, seem to think that I am on the same level as them, which is also fine, but it makes it a little hard to explain.  They don’t understand why I have the freedom to come ad go as I please (within reason)  and they do not really understand the level of responsibility I have.  So it is kind of a funny position to be in.

Teulu the wonder dog, is recovering from his shaving incident well.  I hate to admit it but as ugly as he looks, I think he is more comfortable.  He has, however scratched a very big sore spot on his face which has required copious cleaning with Peroxide, and of course the cone of shame…

I think he has about 3 days left in the cone.  I hope it is less, but..I really want this to heal.

There are so many cool things going on in the world right now, as well as some very disturbing and sad ones. I just feel overwhelmed with the  Successful landing of Curiosity on Mars… some excellent Olympic performances and some less than excellent ones…the unfairness of it all…that someone’s career as an athlete really rests solely on one or two days!  Some shows of GREAT sportsmanship and some shows of very childish behavior and poor sportsmanship.  I really want to write about it.  But I have very little time.  Maybe tonight. I have been very inspired by these Olympics…not to be more fit, but to just be a better person overall.  I think that is what I should share.

It took 4 months, not the traditional 90 days, but I seem to have survived the “Hazing” period, and come out fairly close to the top. I have adjusted better to the 9-5 type schedule..and learned all sorts of new tricks and tips for saving time.  (Apparently I can get “bedside” delivery of my Singulair, while at work, just like a patient can from Walgreens!!!)  I am learning to do my training with the 9-5 schedule.

Usually when things start to go along fairly well, some sort of crises erupts.  So…I hope it happens soon, so I can deal with it and get on with things.

 

2012 is almost here!!!

And WHAT to Do about it!!!!

I will say that I am one person who is very very very glad to see 2011 out.  A lot of not very pleasant stuff happened in 2011.

I have had this unshakable feeling that 2012 may be my year!   Of course, this may all come crashing down, say on January 1, 2012!

I surely hope the world does not end in 2012, even if it is my year and all.

So I’ve been toying with some “resolutions”  of sorts.  I’m not very good at resolutions, but I do like to make them!

Firstly I need to Register for the Certified Emergency Nurse Exam.  I am a bit annoyed as I had prepared for the exam in August and then decided not o regiser due to the cost.  Now I will need to review again for 1-2 months.  This time round I am going to register and make a testing date and then study for the date rather than the other way around.  I hope I pass.

Secondly, I was to run Several PR’s   I would like to actually PR in all distances that I run this year.  I am planning on some 5K’s, 10K’s, a half Marathon and a Marathon.    The Marathon PR will be ridiculously easy, as probably will the 10K.  But the 5K and the half will be much harder.  I think.  I have my first 2012 5K on the first, so we shall see what happens.  Last year I had a PR in the 10K only, well and the Marathon, but that was because I had not run a Marathon before, not because of improvement.

I’d love to have perfect attendance at work.  Work in the past week has exploded and its been chaotic and unpleasant, so perfect attendance would be a good goal as every day I fight the urge to be sick.

I also want to believe it or not, WALK the dog more.  He is such a great buddy and sometimes when I am runnign hard I just want to do the minimum for him.  He does better with a modicum, rather than the minimum, plus it is good for me as well.

I’m also thinking I should do some dating again.  it’s sort of hard in my little town, but we’ll see I have a few little things planned for the future.

So, the world ending or NOT…..I’m really excited to take 2012 by the horns and play!

How about you all?  What are you plans for the New Year?  How do you plan to get there???

Losing Motivation…and Life’s little updates.

Well, its probably time for a life’s Little updates.

Work has been odd.  I had a week or two there right before and during decision to have the hip surgery done where I was a total pain in the rear to be around.  I was actually mean to people.  Since it is my blog I can say truthfully  I was set off by them being a little bit STUPID….Almost every instance occurred because something was not working like it was supposed to, or SOMEONE was not working like they were supposed to.  But…I think we are all supposed to smile and accept that people are stupid.

It would help I think if I had the perfect right to set them on fire.  Instead I just was mean mean mean to people.  For the most part the damage has been repaired.  Everyone seems to understand that I have been in pain and such.  Deep down though I just wish people would follow instructions, and function semi-effectively in their job.  I managed the last 2 shifts without any major frustrations or problems, so I am very pleased about that.  Although my annual evaluation is over 10 months away, I can see it will be an interesting one.

Since I have had the news that I am going out for surgey, alot of people have gotten my phone number to ask if they can help me in the future.  This include a few single guys in my Department and beyond at the hospital.  It’s a strange thing.  I am completely undecided if I want to try to enter into a relationship with any one them.  They are all nice and normal in appearance, but we don’t really seem to have much in common outside the hospital and the fact that we are human.  Like, my core values in life, don’t seem to be evidenced.  I mean yes, one guy and I both love R and B music, but really…so do a lot of people.  So I have not really made any decisions on that.  There is like 2 men I would love to date, but those men are not in the bunch that is handing out phone numbers….what to do exactly, I don’t know!  But they do all have my number!!!!  And If I fall and can not get up…well.

As far as running, I ran a lot last week and yesterday I had very intense ongoing bad hip pain.  today it is back down to a 2/10 or less and I found myself sleeping in and missing my last opportunity to race.  To be fair to myself, it is exceedingly warm and humid today and the race was over an hour from here with somewhat sketchy directions.  Sooo…I feel lazy and unfocused.  I have nothing to train for…so I find myself taking a moment and being very very lazy.  I do need to continue to exersise so I do not get large and so my mood does not completely plummet.

As for today the Rapture day…I plan on renting a carpet cleaner and shampooing the carpet.  yesterday I hung pictures from my travels.  I think I can say I am not ready for the rapture.

Updates Updates….

Warning, I think these updates will be long, mostly focusing on running and health…but I do love your comments, so…please read me!

This week in running was an odd one.   I am super pleased because I did get pretty much all of the miles called for the in Marathon Training plan.  I am not pleased at how they all went.

My 12 mile run was a total disaster.  I have never been so frustrated with anything in quite a while.  I did well up until about the 6th mile, and then it just became a bit harder than expected.  This is going to sound a little silly, but I fully believe that part of my problem was a lack of appropriate planning.

1stly, I experimented with using only one GU, rather than the two I would normally use for a run of about this length.  I can’t believe the lack of 100 calories was responsible for the whole breakdown, but…I wonder if I couldn’t have used the second minor little caffeine boost that they have.  So I learned from that experiment,  2 GU for anything in the half marathon arena.

2ndly:  I have an issue with the West Orange Trail.  It runs for about 24 miles, so in theory it would be perfect for long runs.  It runs through some towns and in Winter Garden, a lovely town I simply have been unable to figure out where the heck it goes.  So I always end up turning around there (about mile 4.5ish) and going back.  My plan was to overshoot on to another trail, the South Lake Trail-North Hancock Extension.  and then come on back to my car.   So the deal was that the first 4 miles were at a great pace, then mile 5 got all weird because I stopped for water and Gu.  On the way back I realized that I really didn’t have the distance I expected to at that point, so I tooled around one of the lakes and started to feel confused. I like to know where I am going.  I finished on the Hancock trail and discovered there is an ENORMOUS hill just about 1.5 miles into the extension.  It is sharp and steep and miserable.  SO I finished that…up and then down…and then ran back to the start point and still had to overshoot some more to get the needed miles. So I slowed down, my pace was terrible.

this week is a cut back week, I only have to do 9 miles as a long.  I have planned it to be at a 15K race, so at least I will have something else to look at.

My other runs this week were interesting as well.

In laziness, I decided to go back to running from the gym, out and back so there was no extra driving about.  I had forgotten how bad the hills are in that route.  Wha hooey, it slowed me down.

The West Orange Trail has some hills, but they are really really gentle.  The Hills around the Hospital and the training center are more extreme.  So I am seeing my speed increase by about 10-20 seconds a mile.  SO I have decided I need to keep training on the hills and will use that route for my shorter runs.

For longer runs, I am going to have to plan something out, I do like to know where I am headed and I don’t want to go through that confusion again.

SO yay for all miles done, and boo hiss on the long run.  I am hoping the next one which will be 14, will be a little better.

I had my cholesterol rechecked.  I was so certain it had dropped.  Well, apparently the commercials can be right.  Even with all my running, swimming and Salmon eating…my cholesterol oddly went up.  My triglicerides which were already excellent, dropped even more…but my healthy cholesterol dropped, and my unhealthy cholesterol rose.  So I see my doctor next week, looks like medication is in my future.  I spoke with one of the Cardiologists about it, and he said I definitely needed something.  He expressed concern about the myalgias caused by the cholesterol lowering medications and my running plans.  So…I am going to see how this goes.  SIGH. I feel old…Medicine for breathing, medicine for cholesterol.  Well.  At least my Blood Pressure seems to now be under control.

Dating:  A few of the men I work with seem to be expressing interest in me.  They are nice, but I am really unsure.  Firstly, they are people I work with, so if it does not go swimmingly, well, there is always that awkward moment.  ANd people at work, love to talk.

Secondly, I think I have gotten so used to being single, and I am not sure I can deal with not being that way, so….

I am going this year to a Magic game, with someone sometime, and I am excited.  I gotta admit though, they started out playing pretty badly against the NJ Nets, so….hopefully the team will gel together a bit better and be playing better too…

OK, I think I could have written more but that should be enough to deal with right now.

So, what do you think?  Have you dated anyone form work?  How did that go?