Strangest Build week ever.

This week…I was entirely owned by my emotions.  e5aa5d8f50030ed4be9a8c52025ebf9e

Oh…I sufferred.  It was an amazing drain on my life.  Every time I thought I had “dealt with it” something new aspect that I had not considered would pop into my brain.  I’d be back a square one.

Back to Square One signpost

By the end of the week, I think I had kind of gotten used to this new negative feeling.  Most of the week, I muddled about and made it through work and my workouts.  Thursday though, was speedwork.  Well…. you can’t fake speedwork.  I failed it. I was hoping to do it well, just as a morale booster. But it didn’t work out that way.  In the past, I would have been entirely miserable about it, and while I was immediately aggravated, I also have a bit more perspective. One failed speed work out in the middle of a week of true crisis…seven months away from my marathon…not the end of the world.  The end of the world- well, the melting of the polar ice cap thing is a bit more of a candidate.

Friday I did my Saturday Brick.  We had a mysterious blessing from God.  A COLD FRONT blew into central Florida.  It was 65 degrees.  This is not exactly chilly, but for us it was enough.  Best brick of the month.  I entirely found the urn to be healing.

Saturday, I volunteered for Special Olympics- the summer games down at Disney.  I did it with a friend, and we enjoyed ourselves very much.  We worked with the soccer matches, and didn’t really have a whole lot of interaction with the athletes, which was a little bit disappointing to me, next year I’ll try to do something different!  The weather again was perfect.  We just really enjoyed being outside.

Today I got up and did my longer run. 11 miles of hills.  My legs felt rather fatigued to begin with, but not horrible.  The entire run I was focused on pace, and it did pay off.  My fueling was perfect. The temperature at 64 was wonderful.  I was very happy at my endurance, as I was able to without any little walk breaks for a long long time. I finally had to stop to take in nutrition.  In addition at the turn-around, I find it easier not to try to pivot around on my legs.

Tuesday, I brought my super fabulous coach some blueberries, and he spent some time with me.  It helped, but it wasn’t the healing that sleep and rest and time was.  One thing though that has struck me, as I mulled over our conversation was that moment when I shrugged and said, “It doesn’t matter.”  and he looked at me and said, “Oh it does, it really does, and it’s awful.”  Nice to have someone in your corner.  I’m lucky in that way.  Sometimes I feel unlucky.

oooh, and a very nice man started to talk to me at the gym…I’m not sure why so we’ll see where that goes!!!!

Work is still horrible, but in general I am feeling much better.

As always…the only way out is through.  I sure hope coach man doesn’t give me some watered down sissy week….